La Vie en Cage.

There are things that, over time, you learn about yourself - about your likes and dislikes, your strengths and limitations. Sometimes, we find ourselves in a situation which tests these qualities, and at other times, we chose to test them ourselves. In reality, it is often a combination of being faced with a situation which will test us as individuals (whether that be physically/mentally/emotionally) along with making our own personal decision as to whether to go through with that test or not.

Without doubt, my first month in Haiti challenged me in circumstance (the rigidity of security restrictions), but not in such a way that I really saw through/fully put up with that test of circumstance (the personal bending of security restrictions). 

In simple terms:

Circumstance = I was based in the small ‘town’ (think dusty dirt roads, some life on the streets and a bit of traffic) of Leogane, where expats working for Save the Children are not allowed to walk anywhere outside of their residence or office.  This, however, I found entirely fair. Why? Because the rules seemed unjustified, as everyone I came across kept confirming. In short, almost all security threats reside in the capital city Port-au-Prince, and all expats from the other NGOs in Leogane (that’s a lot) are free to roam around. Some have no security rules at all, some are restricted to walking the streets in pairs or more, others only in the daytime…but they’re still free.
It’s like the frustration incurred when you’re told you can’t ride in the front seat because your brother is older than you. He’s only three years older, so why should that make any difference?  Except with this journey, the frustration is even worse, because you can’t even leave the car, even when everyone else gets out.

Self-resolution = get away with what you can, whilst not running into trouble/putting yourself or your colleagues or your organisation in any unnecessary danger.

It may sound like an echo of my early blogs about Deployment #1 in India, but the start of this placement was really hard (do note however that then things change, and stuff got a lot better!). The positives however, are that I found myself in a far more structured placement here, exposed to some highly experienced expats, and working in the same office as motivated and experienced national staff who made up teams from all the different sectors: Livelihoods, Health and Nutrition, Water and Sanitation, Child Protection and Education. 

ma vie à Leogane

So whilst Leogane Field Office boded for a good set-up, finding myself at 7.45am in a car each morning to be deposited in a stifling room to work behind a laptop until I stepped back into a car at 5.30pm to be deposited at home until I got back into the car at 7.45am the next day…well…for me, that was HARD.
After each sedentary day I came home to an oven of humidity (bedroom) and longed for some kind of movement, some kind of outlet or activity. Just a walk down the street, or down the village path to the seafront. A perfect 20minutes on foot! Such a small request! 

I knew this would be the situation before I arrived and I knew it would be the ultimate test for me, yet from day one I was already cursing myself for putting myself through it. What was I thinking? Forgive me for sounding so far from altruistic, but giving up my physical freedom and emotional bien-être and working this hard, all for free? 

Seven years of on and off volunteerism is beginning to wear thin, and this was really pushing it. 

Moreover, I rejected the whole principle of it. How are we ever to implement an acceptance strategy as an organisation, when the only interpretation the locals can have of us is as foreigners being ferried about in 4x4s every day, kicking up the dust as we go?

Within a matter of days I knew that I couldn’t go on living like this. And often, little by little, when we find ourselves in situations we’re not happy with (nothing on TV/fatness/unhappy marriages) we find that we are able to do things to change them (bake a cake/don’t eat the cake/have kids*). I put on my trainers and ran laps up and down the driveway of the garden until I was sweaty and out of breath, watched by the guard perched in his shelter, probably thinking, who is this mental white girl? 

 

Something had to change. I weighed up the options.

1) Leave the traineeship (that’s giving up; rubbish)

2) Find another job in Haiti where the security rules allow expats to be human beings with legs (possible… best start looking then)

3) Change the rules (ask the somewhat intimidating beefed up Mr Security Man in PaP to make an updated assessment of the security situation in Leogane; sounds good)

4) Flex the rules (risky, but there must be some ways to get what I want, no, what I need) 

When I ruled out option 1), only spent a half-day on 2) and made some progress but never yielded results with 3) (he even said he’d discuss the results of his re-assessment with the Field Manager!), it didn’t take long to resort option 4).  

Naughty.

In the first week I started small. I’d ask a driver to take me out of the office at lunch, and take me to a market. As with everyone I spoke to in Leogane, my driver said the same “ah oui, la securite a Leogane c’est bien! Pas gen probleme”; ah yes security in Leogane is good! No problem!
At the market he’d get out of the car and walk around with me as I was met with mixed responses of smiles, frowns, hellos and threatening shouts of “BLANC”. This freedom, however small, was a mini victory for me. Contact with real Haitians!

low production = low yield

Turning attention to the market for a moment, I was shocked by the poor quality and poor selection of produce, along with their extraordinary costs (don’t get me started on that one) for such a poor country. Miserable piles of bruised tomatoes grouped in six, covered in flies and already soft to the touch. The same with carrots. In fact the market is more or less just a sparse and expensive selection of onions, rice, cornmeal, beans, pasta, potato and charcoal. Bananas and mangoes can be found on the streets, but very little else. If you don’t like mangoes and deep fried chicken with plantain, you’re buggard, because there’s nothing else to eat. Coming from the plethora of colours and superfluity of both choice and quality of India’s markets, this barren muddy Haitian equivalent was a real contrast. 

I miss chai tea.

Anyhow, drawing the ship back to the dock (is it allowed to invent one’s own sayings? Guess so…) my market mini-missions were surpassed by Leogane’s RaRa festival, which was conveniently held the second weekend after my arrival. Even more conveniently, Save the Children’s Child Protection Team were doing a lot of awareness-raising and hygiene promotion at the festival, which was the perfect opportunity to get permission from Boss to photograph the whole event. And on the side-lines, maybe to have a great time being free and enjoying the festivities as well. These legs were made for walking, don't you know.
Believe me, I made the most of every minute. And what did I learn? Wow the Haitians know and love to dance! Man they got the style...

I also came across some kids that had used free condoms distributed as inflatable balloons. Why not.

Save the Children Child Protection promotion at the RaRa festival

Hygiene promotion/cholera prevention water tap.
Creole: Hello water, hello soap, goodbye germs!!!

Given the mounting length of this post and in order to retain a degree of professionalism (stop your chortles) I can’t go into detail about further security-bending escapades…except that they may have involved making friends with another NGO, which may have had minimal security rules, that may have led to me smuggling my running stuff to their house from time to time, which may have resulted in the odd countryside jog, which may have satisfied my need for exercise, and may have kept me sane.

Most importantly, in the end I discovered the little paradise of Jacmel, which lies two hours over the mountain from Leogane and on the South coast of Haiti. Turns out we have a Field Office here too, and so with a little asking about, stating my case and seeking relevant authorisation from those at the top, I eventually got relocated here. RESULT. Beautiful Jacmel where even Save the Children expats are permitted to roam freeee -you have no idea how happy I am now. In the same way that I have felt at so many different points of this traineeship, and faced by all these various circumstances and personal challenges, this year really has been from one extreme to the next and back again.

If you’ve just opened this link and skimmed all the way down to see how long my post is, then don’t worry…you don’t really need to waste your time reading the above – just know that la vie en cage, it’s not for me.

And what’s the moral of the story? If you can’t beat it, change it. And if you can’t change it? Move elsewhere for something better.

 

*not really, though it’s not unknown

Perfect stillness on Leogane seafront

view from my room in Leogane (Rapunzel Rapunzel...)

oi tarantula get off my bedroom sofa

An old 'Gingerbread' style house.

Leogane was the closest populated area to the epicentre of the Jan 2010 earthquake,
hence it experienced massive destruction and lost an estimated 80-90% of its buildings

RaRa crowds/epic building

Bootyshaking RaRa in full swing

 

Boat painting - Leogane seafront

 

 

beached - Leogane seafront

A very rarely found willing to be photographed Haitian!
They generally hate it here; so many beautiful pictures never taken...

Hair bobble mania; i'm not sure what can be found in greater numbers in Haiti, these or mangoes